Memento Mori

As you’ll know, if you’ve read a few of my Substack Notes, or more than a few of my articles, I’m increasingly coming to believe that when inspiration strikes me with a topic for an article, more often than not, it’s because I’m being called to write the message that I myself need to read, a lesson that I also need to learn, that day.

And I figure if the topic is something I’m struggling with, then the chances are excellent that hundred of thousands of other people are also wrangling with it. Hopefully I’m not wrong, and there isn’t a subreddit tucked away somewhere in a corner of the internet discussing what a weirdo I am!

Today’s article falls very firmly into this camp.

As you’ll also know if you’re familiar with my work (I cannot use the word oeuvre with a straight face!) most of all, I struggle with fear and anxiety. This is hardly surprising, considering I’m striking out on a career path which is totally unlike anything anyone I know in real life has ever followed. And it’s also one that involves me baring my soul and putting my creative babies out into the world time and time again, for the scrutiny of folks I don’t know, and hoping they don’t get torn to pieces…

As well as being an avid reader of just about anything I can get my hands on, I’m also a great fan of astronomy (bear with me, this might feel like I’ve gone off on a tangent, but it’ll link up, I swear!) and find myself utterly fascinated by the vast scale and the mysteries of the universe we’re sitting in, spinning around on this little blue and green ball of rock and water.

Although, I’m equal parts fascinated and also horrified, if I’m totally honest about it. If I sit and really try to imagine the vastness of space, it gives me the wiggles, and I need to go and think about something else, like puppies or kittens or how many books I have ready to read. You know, calming stuff like that!

There’s something about considering just how tiny you are, in the grand scheme of things which is awe inspiring. Sure, you could decide to see that as a reason not to try to do scary stuff, but for me as a learned optimist (I have a post coming on the benefits of positivity, this week) I choose to turn that idea on its head.

Think of it this way - if the universe is so mind bogglingly vast, then what does it matter if we try something and we fail?

I started trying to find ways to deal with my fear and anxiety in my mid-twenties, almost half my lifetime ago. My search for answers, mainly through books and audiobooks (Kindles didn’t exist at that time) led me to read about the ancient philosophers who established the various schools of thought and the ideas behind them. The one which has stuck with me the longest, thanks in part to the tireless work of Ryan Holiday (if you’ve not read any of his books, I highly recommend them, or you can dip your toe in the water for free by subscribing to his DailyStoic.com newsletter) is Stoicism.

Arguably the most well-known Stoic these days was Marcus Aurelius, who wrote a series of diaries, ostensibly for himself, called Meditations. He referenced the writings of many philosophers and great thinkers, including Socrates, who said that the practice of philosophy is “about nothing else but dying and being dead”. Marcus Aurelius himself said: “You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.”

One of my all-time favourite sayings, linked closely to both of the above is:

Memento Mori - which is Latin for “remember you will die”

I also have this phrase on a necklace and a coin I carry sometimes in my pocket. I think about it a lot.

Created with Bing’s CoPilot

Sure, it’d be easy to get depressed about this idea, and to fixate on it and think ‘well, what’s the point in doing anything, then?’ But really it goes back to my point about astronomy. While it’s true that we’re a mere speck in an ocean of humanity on this planet, on a planet which is a mere speck in the vastness of the universe, what we do right here and now can still matter to other people, those around us, whose lives can be positively impacted by the things we do. Or the things we don’t do. And life is precious because it will come to an end. Fictional vampires have struggled with the concept of immortality and the ennui and meaningless of everything when your time is unlimited.

For me, meditating on the phrase above and the ideas from Socrates and Marcus Aurelius also means that we shouldn’t get too hung up on our failure, or our success. I’m increasingly sure that these are just events. Data points, for us to learn from, and ways for us to grow and to inform what we choose to do (nor not to do) next.

So, remember that while what we do feels very important at the time, perhaps the be all and end all to us, all these things will eventually fade from everyone’s memories, and one day no one will remember our failures, or indeed our successes (not unless we manage to achieve immortality like Shakespeare, Jesus or Buddha), so why don’t you just do the scary thing today, why not push yourself out of your comfort zone, like a baby bird being kicked out of its nest by its mother?!

What do you think? Is this idea helpful or something you don’t really want to think about?

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For more information about the ideas behind Memento Mori, I recommend starting with this article from DailyStoic.com - What Is Memento Mori?