What labels do you choose to live with?

Or, how I decided to become indefatigable

I think about words, a lot. I’m sure some of the comes from my love of reading — fiction as well as self-help books – but some of it comes from my belief that words have power.

As the saying goes:

“The pen is mightier than the sword” — Edward Bulwer-Lytton (in his play, Cardinal Richelieu)

For once a really old saying wasn’t Shakespeare, but I definitely thought it was until I just looked it up. Bulwer-Lytton was definitely onto something, in my opinion.

The words we use, whether it’s when we speak to other people, or when we talk to ourselves in our heads, really matter.

Look at how parents sometimes treat their sons and daughters differently. Girls are often told to be careful, to watch out, and to avoid taking unnecessary risks.

Now, I know full well as someone who’s not male, that some of that stems from the fact that life is more dangerous for women, and that our chances of being attacked are higher than if we were men.

But boys are actively encouraged to take risks, to put themselves out there, and to be fully themselves.

Is it any wonder, then, that women are less likely to be sure in their own abilities and often don’t ask for pay rises or promotions that men feel more confident to just ask for?

I recently read an amazing book by Jamie Kern Lima, called Worthy. The author shares her hints and tips on how to boost and bolster your self worth, and one of the tips I loved was about reframing how you choose to perceive things.

Jamie learned when she was a teenager that she’d been adopted, and at first, she took from that the message that it meant that she wasn’t wanted. That her birth parents hadn’t loved her enough to keep her. She soon realised that the message she was giving herself wasn’t helpful, it wasn’t serving her, and she decided to turn it on its head.

Instead of feeling that she’d been abandoned, or that there must be something wrong with her, she decided to feel grateful that her birth mother had gone through with the pregnancy, and also that her adoptive parents had chosen her.

So her thinking became:

“Instead of choosing to believe I was rejected, I chose to believe that I was chosen.” (emphasis mine)

Words have power.

Now, I pride myself on being a driven person. I’m doing the work, every day, to get my message out into the world. Why? Because I believe that the things I’ve learned and the things I can share have value, and that they can help other people, too.

Does that mean that I always spring out of bed at 5am, full of the joys of spring, ready and raring to go?

Ha. Nope.

This morning, it took me an extra hour to drag myself out of bed. I shuffled downstairs, and thanked the me of yesterday with all of my heart for putting in the effort to set up the coffee pot on its automatic timer, last night.

And then I sat down and I just got on with it. I was working slowly at first, like a rusty hinge, just loosening up, but as I kept going, I got more into it, until I felt awake and enthusiastic enough to also work out before taking my dog for a walk.

When I’m in that low-energy state of mind, I think a lot about the word indefatigable.

This is its dictionary definition:

indefatigable
/ˌɪndɪˈfatɪɡəbl/
adjective: indefatigable

1 (of a person or their efforts) persisting tirelessly

“an indefatigable defender of human rights” 

I chose these days to think of myself as indefatigable. The words we use and the labels we give ourselves are so important, I believe. And as Jamie Kern Lima also says, fortunately the labels we carry around are often only stuck to us like Post-It notes. If we make the effort to, we can remove them, and swap them out for new ones, taking back our power.

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Now, does that mean I never get tired? Of course not. Do I sometimes feel depressed? Of course I do. I’m a human being. Everyone has wobbles and periods of low energy. Everyone gets ill or has moments when they’re dispirited.

But there are plenty of things you can do, such as having healthy habits in place to help to lift your mood (exercise is my favourite one, and that doesn’t necessarily mean hours of cardio — walking is exercise, too) or to reduce your stress (reading is a big part of how I keep this down, as well as meditation).

So to me, being indefatigable means that I never give up. On days when I’m low energy or low in motivation, I change tack and I find something, anything, no matter how small, that I can do which will keep moving me on in the direction of the life of my dreams, and I do it.

I don’t judge myself or berate myself if what I can do is less than I’d planned, instead I celebrate my success and I love myself for keeping going, no matter what.

Do you have words or labels that you use to describe yourself which are less than helpful? 

Most of us do.

But my challenge to you today is this: find a disempowering label, a word you use which makes you feel bad, and swap it out for something positive. 

Does it make a difference not only to how you feel but also how you live your life and interact with people around you?

I’d be willing to bet that it does…